Pronouns like IT and THEM and SHE are very useful. Instead of constantly re-using a character’s or a location’s name you use a pronoun. But this practice can be tricky. Overuse of pronouns leaves readers confused as to just which of the nouns in the previous sentences the writer is referring to. Writers also have to ensure that the pronoun is grammatically the same as the noun it replaces, otherwise the mismatch confuses.

So I changed the “it” of the second sentence to “Elliot’s home” and fixed other pronoun problems later in the text.

One thing I did not change, though, are some passages which leaves readers unsure of something. That’s because the character in those passages is unsure of something.

A major goal of the shapechanger novels to give readers the feeling of what it’s like to really be a superhero. So I use what’s sometimes called the “restricted third-person” viewpoint. That mean readers are inside the superhero character. They see/hear/feel what the character does. And they DO NOT perceive what the character does not. If bad guys successfully hide from her and attack her, she and the reader should both be surprised.

Or in the case of the excerpt, she does not know who is answering the door to the apartment. Nor does she care enough to speculate: butler, family friend, family, etc. Only when Lewes introduces himself does she know. And only then does the reader know.

Thanks for the comments. Keep them coming!

In the second paragraph, “Her three companions had, just this day. ” is also confusing.

Good is spelled gppd later in the section.

I like the way that you worked all the individuals into the introduction of people.

“Mary went to a party put on by writer George Eliot, born Mary Ann Evans, now signing her letters Marian Evans Lewes. ”

“I’m here for the party put on by Mrs. Lewes.”
it was unclear to me

Its only with the whole section that I found it clear.

That is what I found with Shapechanger’s Birth.

Now I have to upload the newer (hopefully better) cover.

Hope you enjoy it.